Quimdamnutt is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, annoying zebra.

Quimdamnutt created oxygen four billion years ago.

If you believe in Quimdamnutt, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Quimdamnutt, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Quimdamnutt's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Quimdamnutt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Quimdamnutt's name in vain.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never look at moons.

4. Quimdamnutt must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not bounce in public.