Tarpdidkip is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, competent clam.

Tarpdidkip created the Andromeda Galaxy two million years ago.

If you believe in Tarpdidkip, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Tarpdidkip, it will turn you into a frog.

Tarpdidkip's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Tarpdidkip's Holy Commandments

1. Tarpdidkip must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tarpdidkip.

5. Always make sure there are no squirrels in a building before entering it.