Tarpnursan is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, dishonest fox.

Tarpnursan created viruses seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tarpnursan, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Tarpnursan, he will strike you with lightening.

Tarpnursan's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Tarpnursan's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about stars.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tarpnursan.

3. Pray towards the west.

4. Do not speak about gooseberries.

5. Erect three carbon sculptures of Tarpnursan on top of important buildings.