Goffetstigbonk is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, humane elephant.

Goffetstigbonk created water three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Goffetstigbonk, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Goffetstigbonk, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Goffetstigbonk's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Goffetstigbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in brown rooms.

2. Hide from white turtles for they are unholy.

3. Put Goffetstigbonk first in all things.

4. Do not wear indigo clothing.

5. Do not dye your hair blue.