Tifcipzak is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, smart bear.

Tifcipzak created bats seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Tifcipzak, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Tifcipzak, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Tifcipzak's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Tifcipzak's Holy Commandments

1. Always help whales in need.

2. Put Tifcipzak first in all things.

3. Do not drink water in indigo rooms.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Never hurt hamsters.