Nillbarnvoggod is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, unselfish walrus.

Nillbarnvoggod created water four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nillbarnvoggod, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Nillbarnvoggod, it will refuse to believe in you.

Nillbarnvoggod's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Nillbarnvoggod's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never hurt seals.

3. Never think about gravity.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never talk about fire.