Fettammoblabcissgarfligpan is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, pitiless hedgehog.

Fettammoblabcissgarfligpan created dark energy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fettammoblabcissgarfligpan, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Fettammoblabcissgarfligpan, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Fettammoblabcissgarfligpan's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Fettammoblabcissgarfligpan's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

2. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Fettammoblabcissgarfligpan on top of all buildings.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Always wear red.

5. Hide if nine mice approach from the south.