Pidquamcun is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, sapient crab.

Pidquamcun created the Cigar Galaxy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pidquamcun, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Pidquamcun, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Pidquamcun's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Pidquamcun's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no voles in a building before entering it.

2. Do not skip in public.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Do not wear tin on your body.

5. Bats are not to be trusted.