Art Pakyatlop is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, passionate crane.

Art Pakyatlop created water two million years ago.

If you believe in Art Pakyatlop, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Art Pakyatlop, he will make you grow a tail.

Art Pakyatlop's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Art Pakyatlop's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear purple.

2. Retreat if nine cats approach from the south.

3. Hide if eight porpoises approach from the east.

4. Never laugh near pigs.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.