Tunquillhen is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, intelligent armadillo.

Tunquillhen created the Cigar Galaxy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Tunquillhen, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Tunquillhen, it will refuse to believe in you.

Tunquillhen's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Tunquillhen's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from indigo bats, for they are unholy.

2. Never feed pineapples to birds while wearing yellow jumpers.

3. Worship no other gods but Tunquillhen.

4. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

5. You must pray to Tunquillhen six times a day.