Gepdubzim is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, clever shrew.

Gepdubzim created water six million years ago.

If you believe in Gepdubzim, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Gepdubzim, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Gepdubzim's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Gepdubzim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

3. Capybaras are not to be trusted.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never look at nebulae.