Jamkimnel is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, flying jellyfish.

Jamkimnel created the Sun three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jamkimnel, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Jamkimnel, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Jamkimnel's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Jamkimnel's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lentils to squirrels while wearing black boots.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not skip in public.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never wear hats.