Timflambast is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, all-knowing goose.

Timflambast created dark matter four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Timflambast, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Timflambast, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Timflambast's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Timflambast's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Feed all hungry manatees.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Do not hurt capybaras.

5. Retreat if nine frogs approach from the south.