Flamyartnut is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, dishonest ant.

Flamyartnut created snails seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flamyartnut, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Flamyartnut, she will be very unhappy.

Flamyartnut's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Flamyartnut's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from brown pigs for they are unholy.

2. Never write about galaxies.

3. Always help nematodes in need.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

5. Flamyartnut loves cats, so they must be respected.