Bimgettarp is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, clever goblin.

Bimgettarp created the planet Earth seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bimgettarp, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Bimgettarp, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Bimgettarp's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Bimgettarp's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large gold sculpture of Bimgettarp on top of all buildings.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Feed all hungry ducks.

5. Never eat bark.