Pinlapbim is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, awesome naga.

Pinlapbim created an atom eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pinlapbim, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Pinlapbim, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Pinlapbim's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Pinlapbim's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Pinlapbim.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Pinlapbim.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.