Begtar is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, narcissistic eagle.

Begtar created the Sunflower Galaxy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Begtar, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Begtar, he will turn you into a goat.

Begtar's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Begtar's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Begtar.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not dye your hair gray.