Bastjadfundot is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, merciless meerkat.

Bastjadfundot created time and space twelve years ago.

If you believe in Bastjadfundot, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Bastjadfundot, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Bastjadfundot's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Bastjadfundot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat aubergines.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Bastjadfundot.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. You must never eat wheat.

5. Do not make images of living things.