Linyarlcephogwottarpgen is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, uncaring jaguar.

Linyarlcephogwottarpgen created a charm quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Linyarlcephogwottarpgen, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Linyarlcephogwottarpgen, he will turn you into a rat.

Linyarlcephogwottarpgen's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Linyarlcephogwottarpgen's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never think ill of sick grasshopers.

3. Feed all hungry great tits.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.