Veenquaftaf is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, able wombat.

Veenquaftaf created the Cigar Galaxy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Veenquaftaf, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Veenquaftaf, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Veenquaftaf's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Veenquaftaf's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat wheat.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Put Veenquaftaf first in all things.

5. Run away from fawn eagles, for they are unholy.