Mutlopstik Nabwatnil is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, witless whale.

Mutlopstik Nabwatnil created a down quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mutlopstik Nabwatnil, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Mutlopstik Nabwatnil, she will make you grow a tail.

Mutlopstik Nabwatnil's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Mutlopstik Nabwatnil's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the west.

2. Do not dye your hair gray.

3. Never feed parsnips to grasshopers while wearing yellow shorts.

4. Never wear stockings.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.