Sancatsom is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, fussy bear.

Sancatsom created tapeworms four billion years ago.

If you believe in Sancatsom, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Sancatsom, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Sancatsom's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Sancatsom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never eat limes.

4. Never paint your hands red.

5. Never eat green fruit.