Cimfotyik is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, boastful monkey.

Cimfotyik created a photon three billion years ago.

If you believe in Cimfotyik, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Cimfotyik, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Cimfotyik's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Cimfotyik's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never look at moons.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Always help doves.