Barnmitwad is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, fussy crane.

Barnmitwad created the Whirlpool Galaxy three million years ago.

If you believe in Barnmitwad, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Barnmitwad, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Barnmitwad's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Barnmitwad's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Always obey Barnmitwad's priests.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never hurt mice.