Cemflamvon is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, amazing wasp.

Cemflamvon created the Small Magellanic Cloud eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Cemflamvon, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Cemflamvon, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Cemflamvon's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Cemflamvon's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Cemflamvon.

3. Cemflamvon loves manatees, so they must be respected.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Do not speak about beans.