Sanbottik is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, quiet fish.

Sanbottik created humanity six billion years ago.

If you believe in Sanbottik, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Sanbottik, it will turn you into a mouse.

Sanbottik's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Sanbottik's Holy Commandments

1. Erect seven silicon sculptures of Sanbottik on top of important buildings.

2. Always help sharks in need.

3. Sanbottik loves badgers, so they must be respected.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.