Larpominflan is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, capable mink.

Larpominflan created a down quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Larpominflan, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Larpominflan, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Larpominflan's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Larpominflan's Holy Commandments

1. Erect four nickel sculptures of Larpominflan on top of important buildings.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. You must pray to Larpominflan three times a day.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Run away from mauve frogs, for they are unholy.