Quambab is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, fast penguin.

Quambab created a strange quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Quambab, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Quambab, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Quambab's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Quambab's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from black birds, for they are unholy.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never look at stars.

4. Never think ill of sick bats.

5. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Quambab on top of all buildings.