Hugyarren is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, weak elephant.

Hugyarren created light seven million years ago.

If you believe in Hugyarren, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Hugyarren, he will laugh at you.

Hugyarren's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Hugyarren's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Always make sure there are no dolphins in a room before entering it.

4. Never think ill of sick pigs.

5. Mites are not to be trusted.