Funstig is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, two-faced ferret.

Funstig created a quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Funstig, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Funstig, she will turn you into a duck.

Funstig's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Funstig's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Always obey Funstig's priests.

4. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a room before entering it.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.