Watfarnbif is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, slow slug.

Watfarnbif created a down quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Watfarnbif, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Watfarnbif, he will ignore you.

Watfarnbif's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Watfarnbif's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear gray.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Run away from brown eagles, for they are unholy.

4. Worship no other gods but Watfarnbif.

5. Never feed carrots to bats while wearing red kilts.