Satbanjatlenjin is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, uncaring snail.

Satbanjatlenjin created humankind seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Satbanjatlenjin, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Satbanjatlenjin, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Satbanjatlenjin's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Satbanjatlenjin's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip near sharks.

2. Do not take Satbanjatlenjin's name in vain.

3. You must pray to Satbanjatlenjin four times a day.

4. Do not eat garlic.

5. Never talk about comets.