Tigkipgem is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, intelligent crocodile.

Tigkipgem created tapeworms two years ago.

If you believe in Tigkipgem, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tigkipgem, it will turn you into a tree.

Tigkipgem's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Tigkipgem's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no eagles in a room before entering it.

2. Do not dye your hair yellow.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Feed all hungry foxes.