Rigbastgid is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, witty jaguar.

Rigbastgid created the Cigar Galaxy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Rigbastgid, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Rigbastgid, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Rigbastgid's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Rigbastgid's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in holy places.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Do not eat beans.

4. Hide from mauve voles for they are unholy.

5. Never think ill of sick doves.