Goncemnat is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, boastful yak.

Goncemnat created the Whirlpool Galaxy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Goncemnat, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Goncemnat, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Goncemnat's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Goncemnat's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the east.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Never write about nebulae.

4. Never write about amino acids.

5. Never mention tortoises.