Higjadjarn is a god.

She takes the form of a large, merciful hippopotamus.

Higjadjarn created a Higgs boson nine million years ago.

If you believe in Higjadjarn, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Higjadjarn, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Higjadjarn's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Higjadjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Higjadjarn loves tapirs, so they must be honoured.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Never eat green fruit.