Dandogfedtif is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, ill-tempered seal.

Dandogfedtif created the planet Mars nine million years ago.

If you believe in Dandogfedtif, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Dandogfedtif, she will boil you in a big pot.

Dandogfedtif's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Dandogfedtif's Holy Commandments

1. Never run near snails.

2. Do not hurt dolphins.

3. Do not drink water in purple rooms.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Always look after injured tapirs.