Gatsoghab is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, confident fairy.

Gatsoghab created tapeworms three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gatsoghab, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gatsoghab, she will laugh at you.

Gatsoghab's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Gatsoghab's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry sharks.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Run away if six snails approach from the east.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.