Jinspagpark is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, charitable hyena.

Jinspagpark created an up quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jinspagpark, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Jinspagpark, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Jinspagpark's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Jinspagpark's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. You must never eat beans.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.