Fagzig is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, narcissistic ant.

Fagzig created the planet Earth eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fagzig, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Fagzig, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Fagzig's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Fagzig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair black.

2. Always make sure there are no whales in a building before entering it.

3. Dolphins are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not speak about melons.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate monkeys.