Bastjamsas is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, idiotic mink.

Bastjamsas created gold nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bastjamsas, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Bastjamsas, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Bastjamsas' most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Bastjamsas' Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your back.

2. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Always wear violet.