Stantonkam is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, narcissistic yak.

Stantonkam created a charm quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stantonkam, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Stantonkam, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Stantonkam's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Stantonkam's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from pink pigs, for they are unholy.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Hide from white shrews for they are unholy.

4. Do not speak about melons.

5. Do not listen to music.