Sitshavfun is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, idiotic whale.

Sitshavfun created a quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Sitshavfun, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Sitshavfun, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Sitshavfun's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Sitshavfun's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed corn to snails while wearing red hats.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Hide from pink monkeys for they are unholy.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Do not drink alcohol.