Quilltitflat is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, uncaring pig.

Quilltitflat created an up quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quilltitflat, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Quilltitflat, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Quilltitflat's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Quilltitflat's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat foxes with great respect.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate nematodes.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Pray towards the north.