Tif Midliblit is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, humane pigeon.

Tif Midliblit created a quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tif Midliblit, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Tif Midliblit, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Tif Midliblit's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Tif Midliblit's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Tif Midliblit's priests.

2. Never mention capybaras.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

5. Never play with disobedient children.