Gonbigsatfebhimleg is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, moody faun.

Gonbigsatfebhimleg created the planet Mars four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gonbigsatfebhimleg, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Gonbigsatfebhimleg, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Gonbigsatfebhimleg's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Gonbigsatfebhimleg's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from green monkeys for they are unholy.

2. Never go into blue rooms.

3. Do not dye your hair magenta.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Pigs are unholy and should not be approached.