Jadpadbug is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, thoughtless naga.

Jadpadbug created parasitic wasps nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Jadpadbug, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Jadpadbug, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Jadpadbug's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Jadpadbug's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from cyan turtles for they are unholy.

2. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not drink water in pink rooms.

5. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.