Niltomtikbitdamhitneg is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, compassionate monkey.

Niltomtikbitdamhitneg created the planet Venus five million years ago.

If you believe in Niltomtikbitdamhitneg, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Niltomtikbitdamhitneg, it will try to impress you with trees.

Niltomtikbitdamhitneg's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Niltomtikbitdamhitneg's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Niltomtikbitdamhitneg must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Niltomtikbitdamhitneg loves gulls, so they must be respected.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Do not dye your hair green.