Hogvoggon is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, charitable armadillo.

Hogvoggon created the Virgo Supercluster nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hogvoggon, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Hogvoggon, it will turn you into a hamster.

Hogvoggon's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Hogvoggon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt shrews.

2. Never look at asteroids.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Hogvoggon.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Hogvoggon must be the most important thing in your life.