Yattrigvonk is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, temperamental mole.

Yattrigvonk created the planet Saturn three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yattrigvonk, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Yattrigvonk, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Yattrigvonk's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Yattrigvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Yattrigvonk loves horses, so they must be respected.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Do not wear pink clothing.

4. Always help sick seals.

5. Do not chop down trees.